One time a found a guy
A wounded guy.
I could see through his hurt
He had loved a girl
But she was, in fact, a girl and she cheated on him.
She lied about where she was or who she was with.
When he met her, his heart broke seeing her lipstick all over the place
He wanted to trust, but her lies continued.
Eventually she told him the truth
and he decided never to believe in love
because love had hurt him, so very deeply.
Love is bad
Love doesnt mean anything
Her name was Luna and every relationship he would compare it to this one.
He became lost.
He would see women as meat now
And himself as nothing.
He would smoke weed cause it made him forget why he was smoking on the first place.
He enjoyed his friends
And talking about how women are bitches.
There was a brotherhood between them.
Lets go bitchin´! They said every weekend.
Love is bad
Love doesnt mean anything
Many moons after,
years in fact
he met a girl who had just healed from her trust issues.
She approached him cautiously
They really liked each other, they were from the same school.
He was all into conquering her, calling her, visiting her.
They were together after a month or so.
She acknowledged there was something wrong with his life
She didn't mind his unemployment
But he kept disappearing
He lied of his wereabouts
He lied about his lifestyle.
She wanted someone grounded and mature
He was lost.
She cut him off.
He would come back and beg for forgiveness.
She guessed everyone is human,
She forgave
But one time they fought and he insinuated she had done something.
She was confused.
Yes, you were with someone
After some months more words would come out.
Women are bitches. You're a bitch. Go to Hell.
What he might've been thinking was
Love doesnt mean anything
Love is bad
She had past trauma in her life to recognize it depersonalizing from the situation.
He was projecting
She saw right through that.
That wasn't for her. That was for that girl in the past he had told her about.
The words he never said or maybe the words that remained on his mouth
Coming from a haunted mind and hurt heart.
This became a pattern. Hurt and forgiveness became accepted.
Until one day a restricted text appeared on his phone, while together, reading `What's up?`
What was that? Who was she? What's happening?
She remembered the name and contacted her.
She confirmed 3 encounters, precisely on the days they fought.
For the first time ever, someone had cheated on her.
He was always calling on her to be a cheater.
When he was the one cheating.
That was enough. She broke up and disappeared.
He insisted for a forgiveness, that, would indeed come, but without any second chances.
She moved on, sad, disbelieved, stunned, and wondering how men could be so stupid.
The first time she trusted, the first time she was cheated on.
Four years later, she found a guy she was crazy about.
Different culture, apparently nice, gentle and kind.
He let girls tease
She asked him, set boundaries.
He was too quiet
Too permissive, too submissive
He had done some things in the past he had hidden.
the relationship didn't begin well
But they kept trying.
There was a lot of silence and peace
Something new to her
They could be all day together
She healed with him a lot of insecurities
But the peacefulness turned into too much silence
Bad environment, bad friends began a depression on him
She wanted what he couldnt give her, communication
Fights began
The silence was deafning
The was no bonding anymore
Just coexisting
Many months passed
She pushed him through his life, t awake up, to get up, to move, to cheer up
Distance began
Bad memories began
You did that in the past, you didn't set boundaries, you cheated
She would say
They fought a lot
He stopped trying
More Distance
Who are you with?
He began to disappear
Blaming depression for his inability to call or text for days
She felt inexistent.
She put effort to continue with her life but wondered how much time is time alone
and shouldn't she help him since he is alone in a tiny room in a foreign country?
I need time alone, he would repeat.
Traumas began to emerge, but she fought with them,
After some days
She battled between being a friend or a girlfriend
The girlfriend screamed
Who are you with?
You're a fucker.
But then she calmed down and
She tried to help him with her knowledge from therapy.
Later that night it was enough.
She video called and no answer.
He was nervous.
He was only texted.
He said he didn't want to fight and hurt her
From saying hello?
He said
ITS ENOUGH
WHAT TF IS THIS
I´LL PICK UP MY STUFF TOMORROW
After 10 minutes he videocalled back.
Insecurity, neglect, lack of communication
Faced depression cheating or not.
It doesnt matter because what had been missing for days
has long been gone for weeks, maybe months.
She decided it was enough pain, insecurity
and lack of love or even kindness.
He treated her with the lack of respect a cheater does.
Men are fuckers,
you can never really trust them.
But I thought he was different
Since then she moved on trying to recall lessons
She invested a year, trying to help him
Being there for him
She would keep the best memories
But let go, for once.
She committed, she tried.
You cant chain yourself to what doesn't give you happiness anymore.
And worse to whom doesn't want to be with you.
