The Hope

I'd rather see you igniting power than pain.

Sunday, yesterday I went to the zoo. I hate going to the zoo, I hate watching the animals. I dont want to remember so I wont say more. its just when I got to the lions cage... CAGE, WHO HAS THE RIGHT A PONER UN ANIMAL EN UNA JAULA, NO ES JUSTO, WE HUMANS SOMETIMES THINK WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THINGS LIKE THOSE JUST WE HAVE MORE POWER.

The male lion had a female lion beside him, pregnant, and people were watching him in his reduced space, taking pictures. He was going back and forth, and he started roaring but not with the power a lion has, not with it's strenght, not showing power. He was pleading us 4 a little respect, he was telling us to be considerated! We already had encaged him, now what more "do you want of me? u win, I'll spend the rest of my existence here. I miss the wind through my long hair, the speed, the muscles of my legs running, tightning by the acceleration, my paws on the solid ground, my spirit and body free in a world that no1 has the right to claim its own. I roar not with rage but with words, words u cant understand, only if u are listening hard.

The horrible melody of pain sounds the same both in animals and humans.

On that moment the other male lion answerd him in the other cage like 40 meters away. They only saw theirselves with their roars. The only memory they have of their so long ago lost freedom. The roar of their equal. Same feeling of pain shared by an unison roar. They were complaining, they were asking for as how long they'd have to stay. And why? why were we doing that, where are the chances of dying? I'd rather die hunting and finding no food, than being somehow fed but not freed. I wont even try to break this iron bars it'll be useless, and maybe you'll free me by my good behavior. Still it hurts. I can do no good. I have no choice. what did I do? What can I do?! There was an incredible desesperation in his eyes.

Doesn't an innocent animal deserve better than a killer, prisoner, convict?!

In that moment as u can expect, I cried. I cried for him, because he was right. Because we humans are so wrong, so MAD. We have no right to claim the freedom upon other animal. I tried to calm down but my brow was starting to wrinkle, so I just tried to put my face straight and went to my mom and she saw me and said shocked, "why are you crying?" and I just threw myself to her and hugged her and cried with all my soul thinking so many things, hating my specie, hating this world, this planet where the more powerful rule the lacking. I just answered, "me da pena" If I had to answer her in english it would've been "it hurts me". And she said that it was supposed to be that way so we could see them, and learn. I just thought back "if it's for that i'd rather not see them." But my voice was broken and I just remained muted.

Anyhow I just wanted to post this feeling, this thoughts. I have so many endless things to discuss but i'll leave them in my heart and mind.

I wanted to post this recorder-sound (cuz its nothing like a song) I just like invented, and thought of the pain, the moment. I closed my eyes and just blew and moved my fingers... a tear fell down my left eye...

I pray for you sacred animals.

Maybe in my ignorance I forget that God has told us you are for us to

feed, clothe and for other needs we have.

But now we just treat u like a thing, worst than a thing.

You are part of creation and I consider that u should be treated better.

I pray because I dont know wut the purpose of life is, but I sure know

it's about love and showing respect to others, others that show pain when hurt,

hunger when starved, cold or hot depending on the weather, and for those who show

something in their eyes that's more than just black pupils.

When God comes(and if i'm doing wrong) maybe, (I hope) that he'll

laugh, and pardon my ignorance. But I hope i'm letting him know

that it's not in my intention, and it's my innocence that makes me feel these ways.

Who are you?

I would've liked starting this post by asking you if you'd ever asked yourself this questions... "Who am I?" and '' What's my purpose in life?"... but the truth is, who hasn't?

I'll share parts of my life with you.

I normally sleep a lot and love playing with my wii. At night I enjoy watching tv or a movie, all by myself with a bowl of cold milk and my favorite cereal on my legs; and my powerfull spoon on my right hand. I enjoy my loneliness and hate to admit it to social people. I dislike people from my generation in my country because they are so... lets say... I dont find things in common with most of them and myself. They commonly say nasty things (and feel cooler for doing so) to other ppl. I thought these things were gonna change when I got into college, but they didn't. I think this may often happen in other parts of the world, but I think it's wrong.(Dugh!)

Though I have to face it, I was like them ...but when I was 13 years old! Now I am 17, hello? maturity are you alive in other ppl's brains?!! I think it's time 4 em to start taking concience, but i'm so sure that won't happen. So my miserable, out of generation feeling will remain. But actually, there is something funny about it, I feel happy 4 not being like them! I feel special, and knowing i'm different makes me feel capable of anything.

I'll never forget this day I arrived home from the university and (I live on a tenth floor) watched through the window to the sky(lights still off), and surprised myself by the question that stroke my head. When are they coming to pick me up? I just kept glaring at the misty sky, because of the city lights and clouds above, waiting for an answer. Nothing... and I cried of impotence. It felt weird, I felt they had forgotten me... whoever they'd be. I just thought I didn't belong here...

It was a weird feeling, i'll never shake it off. Maybe it was my uncounsciousness creating a special world were I could belong... at last. A place where my thoughts weren't underestimated and people cared 4 each other... not caring how old or important they are... not caring for WHOM they are.