Some days

 Some days

Days go by

And when I think of what happened 

I try to find my own explanations and I’m sure that maybe if I didn’t have our places to haunt me 

Maybe my mind would be more at ease 

Some days you are monster

Some days you are a master mind

Some days you loved me

Some days you spared me is what happened 

Some days you were a hipocrite 

Some days I conclude you were immature

Some days you were in pain

Some days you are the victim 

Some days you were a coward

Some days you let me go thinking it was best

Some days you must be thinking of me

Some days we never existed 

Some days you were always there for me

Some days you were not

Some days you already forgot even who I was

Some days we can’t stop thinking of each other, at least that’s what I like to  imagine as an explanation 

Would it be true? That when someone thinks of you, you think of them?

Suddenly I think of you a lot

I dreamt with you yesterday 

I close that door because a whole ocean could break down everything that I keep together

But it was always too much 

The ending was too much

Could’ve killed me if I hadn’t gone to therapy many years ago

If I didn’t have nieces and nephew 

I wouldn’t be here 

The lack of love 

The lack 

Was enormous

If I had known this was how it’d end

I wouldn’tve ever began

Could’ve been more honorable 

You should never leave a woman 

Who still loved you

Like this 

Hope one day you learn that 

Hope the pain stops

Hope the sadness sorrows away 

Hope life begins living again 

Hope to move away from this house that haunts me because you are inside 

Hope I see new utensils 

New habits 

New tablecloth

New iron casts

New lemon squeezer 

New cutting board

New knifes 

New tiny adjectives 

New cute sounds 

New words 

Hope all this that is stored is forgotten 

And that what life does best is done:

Beginning again like we weathered no storm 

Like if being a survivor is being a believer 

Like if no pain ever touched our hearts now clean to love

I will never minimize the hope I had with you 

The illusion I felt in my heart 

So big it only pains now 

So long it yet remains 

And I know I’m stupid 

Crying 

Feeling 

For someone who doesn’t even take 2 seconds of his day to remember what he left behind